Faced with such a sensitive issue in our society I just want to express that it is not the same to be a victim of abuse as to live in victimhood.
The first is an act of violence that must be denounced and treated by people specific to the subject. On the other hand, living in victimhood is an attitude, a more or less conscious pattern that does not have to come from direct abuse, but can be learned.
Victimhood has become the pink elephant that occupies the room of your Being and that you do not want to see. Remember that the victim is always accompanied by an Executioner and you can act from either one of the two according to the situation.
This is based on the need for recognition that leads you to act from guilt or pride. Terms that really have a great deal of depth in you.
Victimhood can be felt from sadness, immobility or anxiety; usually centered in your solar plexus.
From a systemic point of view, victimhood can take the form of that little boy who was told one day that it was not enough, that he would get nowhere or that he is not worthy.
When you position yourself in guilt, you feel weak and insignificant, undeserving and unable to move forward.
When you do it from pride, you position yourself above others, and take for granted that you deserve; if you do not receive what you expect, you hold others responsible for your lack.
This victim, protected by these emotions, uses the need for recognition as legs to walk.
The need for recognition can become a vicious circle of your own lie; re-recognition. If you are not seen, you do not exist, and you can make the mistake of showing yourself as someone you are not really so that others will look at you, even knowing that you are fooling yourself.
Strategies for coping with this appearance have been important for your survival and getting to the point where you are in your life. The first step is to stop and recognize this character, see it from the depths, and look without fear or guilt at the feelings it brings up.
We will not judge if they are good or bad, they simply are, and can become tools depending on the use and power you give them.
The position of victim drains, empties and paralyzes your energy. It can become very powerful, as much as the years you have been “hooked” on it.
Probably at some point in your life you have felt the need to evolve, but you have encountered your own victim, which has kept you from moving forward.
It is time to face and support, to integrate and talk to your little child, to let him know that now it is you, the adult, who takes charge, without guilt or pride, but from this new place where you can feel safe, protected.
Thank it for everything he has felt and experienced, because thanks to it you have got where you are now. Integrate it from Love and Compassion, which is the smile of your Soul.
This practice that I propose to you brings balance and harmony to your Being, and connects you to the Tranquility and Trust to sustain any situation that Life presents to you.
1st step. Ask yourself and answer
Where am I facing this situation from?
How far am I able to hold on?
Is it my wounded inner child who is taking over or is it my adult?
Am I able to observe this situation without guilt or pride?
What are my expectations, are they real or utopian?
Do I recognize and value myself or do I only exist if I am seen by others?
Step 2. Recognize your body’s reaction
Every time you answer one of these questions, focus on how your body reacts. Is there a part of your body that feels like it’s contracting? Sometimes this exercise is a little difficult at first because we are not used to it, repeat the answers until you identify that place in you.
3rd step. Concentrate on that point and recognize your body’s response
The simple action of putting your hands on that part of your body and acknowledging internally that the answer you are giving is no longer valid will give you the opportunity to stop fighting against yourself. I invite you to choose an object that represents this victim situation and put it on the floor about three or four steps away from you.
4th step. Find your own answer
Looking at this object, write and repeat a new answer to yourself, which, when you hear it, you feel your body relaxing. It may clash with your thoughts and beliefs, don’t worry, just start trusting and believing in the natural response of your body and your Self. When you give a new answer try to be from the appreciation and integration: Thanks for what you’re showing me, I integrate this new response, I can now understand this new response, and so on.
5th step. Integrate
Integrate and maintain these responses, as days go by you will feel your body and your thoughts react in a more relaxed and conscious way to situations that used to stress and paralyze you. Make way for your personal safety.