It is important to have systemic order in life.
When I talk about disorder, I am not referring to those occasional moments when you may feel overwhelmed by a situation, but rather when you have a constant feeling that things are going upside down or there is general confusion.
Creating systemic order in your life may take several sessions of personal work, but here I want to provide you with a small exercise that will help you to reorder your life.
Order is a base point in systemics that gives you a reference point and brings security and stability.
Too much order can lead to excessive control and rigidity, too little order can create confusion and disharmony.
Systemic order is when you put things where they belong and yourself where you belong.
How can you put yourself back in your place and put your things in systemic order?
Step 1. Choose the different aspects of your life
Choose a quiet space, sit comfortably and take 5 deep breaths.
Think about all the aspects of your life as a child, as a partner, as a worker, friends, etc.
Write your name and the name of each aspect on a piece of paper or take an object that represents each aspect.
Step 2. Place them on the floor
Place the paper or object that represents you and then place the others in a fan shape in relation to you.
The simple fact of looking at them and seeing yourself from the outside will give you a different perspective on each of the different aspects, and you will be able to feel that your attitude and relationship with each of them is different.
Step 3. Observe them from the “I” and describe the sensation you have about each one of them.
From the paper that represents you, observe each of the aspects that you have represented and write down the different sensations that move in your body.
For example, how do I see myself as a child or how do I see myself as a worker?
Observing each of the aspects from here will make you realise the different attitudes you have in each situation. Write down the feelings.
4th step. Recognise your qualities and limits
Write down what happens in your body as you go through each of the aspects.
Once you are on the paper or object, connect with the sensations that move inside you. What happens in my body when I am in the situation as a child and as a partner?
Is there a difference between how I saw myself as a child and now that I am in the role of a child?
Ask yourself these questions as you go through each of the different aspects and write them down on the post-its.
5th step. Return to the starting point, the role of the Self.
Once you have gone through and noted down the information about each of the aspects, go back to the starting point, your Self.
Reconnect with your body and observe one by one the aspects. Does any different sensation appear now that you have gone through and obtained information about each one?
Take a deep breath and formulate a phrase that you feel comfortable with.
You can also use phrases such as:
>I acknowledge my responsibility in each of these situations.
>I integrate what is happening without judgement
>I am grateful for this situation and its learning
Take a deep breath again and observe how your body responds. Do you feel that it has relaxed a little in the place where you felt a blockage before?
You can keep repeating these phrases or any others you feel appropriate as long as you do not enter into judgements or mental discussions.
Little by little you will gradually integrate a liberating response.
By doing this exercise you will obtain:
>Clarity in each of the important situations of your life, by positioning and observing them from the outside.
>Awareness of your internal reaction when positioning and experiencing each of these situations.
>Internal and corporal relaxation by integrating each of these sensations and emotions.
I hope this dynamic will help you to clarify and integrate your systemic order. Greetings